Jeff Varner should have won Survivor II. He was my favourite to win until he was voted off a couple of weeks ago. I mean, he's incredibly gorgeous and sexy, he's probably gay and I had him to win in my office pool - what more could a girl ask for?!

I loved Jeff's bitch sessions with the cameramen every episode, and his excellent comments like: "Bring on Ogakor, we're going to chop them up and feed them to Mike." Jeff has never publicly admitted he's gay.

Personally, I hope he is because gay men are the sweetest, nicest souls on earth.

I just bought a new Hyundai Accent (I am completely and utterly ecstatic about it - but more on that later) and my car salesman was gay. He was so sweet, drove me home in a freezing rainstorm one evening and he gave me an excellent deal on the car.

As I drove away from the dealership I was tempted to get out of the car to give him a big hug.

I think the thing single women find so attractive about gay men is that you can be so affectionate with them, without any mind games or even sexual tension (well, maybe just a little). One of my very good friends when I was in my mid-20s was Rick Foster. Rick was queer and proud of it - he was also completely gorgeous.

How could anyone have resisted Jeff as he gagged away to gross out Tina in the "eating disgusting things" challenge?

Who's more of a man, Jeff or Alicia?

I'd grab his ass and he'd put his hand down my top and grab my tits. It was so much fun because both of us were always so horny.

One evening I remember sitting with him drinking a couple of pitchers of beer and singing the Elton John song Daniel at the top of our lungs, in between gropes! I think of Rick every time I hear that song now. Rick died of AIDS in 1993 and I miss him. Every time I meet or see a gay man now, he reminds me of Rick and I can't help but go crazy over him.

So when I saw Jeff Varner on Survivor I just knew he'd be a sweetheart. A little bitchy maybe, but still cute - and I bet he'd look awesome in a full-length fur coat.

Take Me Home!